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Evans Blue, Cold

hello, I'm your martyr, will you be my gangster
can you feel my trigger hand, moving further down your back
when you hide, hide inside that body
but just remember that when I touch you
the more you shake, the more you give away

cold, but I'm still here, blind, �cause I'm so blind, say never
we're far from comfortable this time
cold, now we're so cold, mine, and you're not mine, say never
we�re far from obvious this time

wait, another minute here, time will kill us after all
now can you feel its second hand wrapped around your neck
so fall into my eyes and fall into my lies
but don�t you forget
the more you turn away, the more I want you to stay

cold, but I'm still here, blind, �cause I'm so blind, say never
we're far from comfortable this time
cold, now we're so cold, mine, and you're not mine, say never
we�re far from obvious this time

you�re so endearing, you�re so beautiful,
well I don�t look like they do, and I don�t love like they do
but I don�t hate like they do
am I ever on your mind?

cold, but I'm still here, blind, �cause I'm so blind, say never
we're far from comfortable this time
cold, now we're so cold, mine, and you're not mine, say never
we�re far from obvious this time

COLD, you broke me from the very first night
I'd love you �til the day that I die
I'm far too comfortable this time
COLD, I loved you from the very first night
you broke me �til the day that I die
I'm far too obvious this time

OH NO!!!!

Someone just willingly gave me pixie stix.....at work......

Oh nooooeeeees!!! :P
1) I've done two 9/10hr days in a row...during Thanksgiving Break....
- I'm no longer allowed to read/do homework during the many hours of deadtime I get
- I'm not encouraged to talk to anyone
- Any writing is completely discouraged unless I have brought my own notebook or pens
- Saturdays....there is never anything to do. All the normal paperwork that full days normally bring don't exist on Saturdays. Literally, babysitting a phone that rings once or twice an hour. It's busy if I get five calls in an hour.
- Jon and I have a running bet, whom I've been sending hourly reports, of how many people are going to call today about Service or Parts (which, since this dealership opened in the 90s, have never been open Saturdays). We're going for 15, but I've only gotten 5 today. Granted, I've only received 10 actual calls, with an additional 5 misdials.
- Somebody needs to go to this one old lady's phone, and change her speed dial for her. Her number "7" used to be Walmart, and about a year ago either she or someone in her family changed it to our dealership, for some practical joke or whatever. A year later, she still calls me to put money on her Wlmart card.
- For the love of God, someone please come over and offend the crap/scare off these three losers who come EVERY Saturday to the dealership to "hang out." They are srsly pissing me off. The one pot bellied one always asks me "when I'm due", the tall one and his assinine friend keep talking about buying "one of our cars", but instead either hang out by my desk and talk about some new book their reading, or criticize my current reading selection.
- One of these days this guy I work with will get fired. But it won't be today, and it won't be while this manager is here. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD MAN! YOU ARE IN A GLASS OFFICE, EVERYONE CAN SEE YOU. Even more disturbing, he shakes customers hands with that hand.

2) I decided since the school library is conveniently closed all weekend for Thanksgiving (and my paper is due Tuesday), that I would read an old WWI pictorial history book that I've perused over time and again when formatting lesson plans for European History.
- I've read this book too many times
- I know too much about this war
- When I'm laughing at the military "slights", and the Russian "genius" of broadcasting their every military movement uncoded across radio waves.....you know I haven't watched Family Guy in quite awhile. Especially, when nearly all of it is acerbic and ironic. Like the reason why the B.E.2s were called Quirks, and how flying ace Oswald Boelcke died because his student Erwin Böhme collided with him....o.o Or when the tanks were first deployed by the British....and were met with flamethrowers...How the French front in the beginning of the war had soldiers taken to the front by...Taxicab???
- My life is too serious :( I try to share these jokes with people and I get this look across their face like I'm some crazy person--either mentally disturbed by "war humor", or someone who doesn't understand humor at all.

3) I want more cheesy potato goodness, like now. My roommate will likely be coming back home tonight, and I need comfort food.

4) My nightmares are lame. When other people have nightmares, there is always a ridiculous element in it that tells you you are dreaming. Like breaking up with your boyfriend, who's riding on a pink elephant....something like that! Mine are practically real. Last night I dreamed that I was on the phone arguing with a customer, in a situation that will most likely happen at some point in time (if it hasn't happened already and I'm mentally blocking it). There was nothing about the dream that made me think it was fake, and even when I woke up, I had a vague feeling of confusion as to why it was light outside, when I was obviously just going to bed after a long day at work.

5) My German class has given me new perspective on WWI, and especially the names of battleships, U-boats, and peoples surnames.

6) Had Thanksgiving with both my parents AND Jon's parents. It actually happened. And it was NOT full of fail. I will have to admit, I am very encouraged. There was much feasting to be had, and leftovers aplenty. Speaking of which.....I think I'll pilfer some when I visit Mom and Dad's tonight.

7) Cody is now an official beast. He is freaking huge, and I have found out I don't like boy dogs. There will be much estrogen when I establish my own household.

8) I have just killed 45 mins of boredom at work, go me!

-----/end rant

In 2006....

News events:

January 15– NASA's Stardust mission successfully ends, the first to return dust from a comet

January 27– Manuel Zelaya becomes President of Honduras.

March 16 – The Blu-ray Disc format is released in the United States

March 17 – The United States strikes its 2 remaining Iowa-class battleships from the Naval Vessel Register, ending the age of the battleship.

March 22 – ETA declares a permanent ceasefire in their campaign for Basque independence from Spain

May 27 – The first demonstration for gay rights in Moscow is broken up by the police.

August 24 – The International Astronomical Union defines 'planet' at its 26th General Assembly, demoting Pluto to the status of 'dwarf planet' more than 70 years after its discovery.

October 2 – Charles Carl Roberts IV, a 32-yr-old milk-truck driver, kills 5 girls at an Amish schoolhouse in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania before shooting himself.

October 9 – North Korea claims to have conducted its first-ever nuclear test.

October 10 – Google buys YouTube for USD $1.65 billion

November 17 – The PlayStation 3 is released in North America.

November 19 – The Wii is released in North America

December 30 – Saddam Hussein, former Iraq president, is executed in Baghdad.

In music:

- Hinder's "Lips of an Angel" was number 1 on the top 40 in November

- Cascada's Album "Everytime we Touch" was released

- Oomph! released their "GlaubeLiebeTod" album

- Tenacious D releases the album "Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny" in November

In 2006, I was:

- Working at Disney as a Tour Guide/Gangster

- still driving my Probe :(

- hadn't been in a relationship for nearly a year

- raising my puppy Cheyenne (who was 9 mths old in November of that year)

- at Valencia beginning my A.A. degree

- not even vaguely politically involved

- turning 21 that year

- still adjusting from my former life in the military

- I cut my hair to within 3 inches of my scalp o.o

- I was still REALLY crazy :P


May 2006 I met a serious, quiet guy at a random birthday party. Cute, but mean ;) and annoyed by everything I did.

May-November 2006 Serious guy messages me sporadically on AIM, I find out he used to be an engineering major. Like my dad...and my brothers...and my cousin....and every guy I seem to know.... ;)

Nov. 13, 2006 I have a SERIOUSLY wicked exam the next day in Algebra.....and I'm totally going to fail it D: Jon, "Serious guy", is online and tries to help me study. I'm no good at online help, however, and I ask if he minds if I come over so he can help me (bold for me, out of sheer desperation at my Math-fail :( ). After about a half hour of studying (if that) I give up, and instead catch up with him. We trade relationship fails, dating misfires, etc.

Nov 14, 2006 EARLY A.M. He makes me breakfast :) I confide in him about a recent guy involvement who is likely not to be healthy for me, I express fears of spiralling back into San Angeloness. I express how it's a pity that guys can't just come out and say they're for a long term relationship, so that all the dancing around gets out of the way.

Jon asks me if I wanted to try something long term.

me = O.O

then, :D "yes!"

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY BABY! You're so cute and boldly honest! :)

I really wish I could be there with you today, and that I was less sick, but we will have to make it up sometime soon :) LOVE YOU!!!!
R.I.P. Cheyenne, your mommy can't follow where you go anymore
My angel is only 3 years old Lord, please don't take her from me yet